For many couples, there can be nothing more stressful than the female of the species suffering from monthly mood swings, hot flushes, irrational behaviour and did I mention mood swings? That would be PMT (Pre-Menstrual Tension). For us males it’s a time to show patience and support and ride the storm (it won’t last for ever). However, for most couples there’s something that is even worse. And that’s the sudden absence of the above. I’m referring of course to a missed period.

More often than not it’s harmless and nothing to worry about. The contraceptive pill can play havoc with the menstruation cycle and missing a pill can totally mess the cycle up altogether. A missed period can throw up all kinds of things that you don’t give a second thought to normally. Thoughts like: “I’m not ready to be a father”, “I’m too young to be a father”, “well there goes my fantasies of sleeping with other women - I’m going to have to get married” and of course “my life is over”. There may even be some positives but I’ll dwell on the negatives for now as it aids the narrative.

The first time this happened to me (well, to my then girlfriend of course) was when I was about 19 (making my girlfriend about 17). I was absolutely terrified. It’s one of the few memories I retain from being that age and I remember thinking things like “if it’s negative I’ll never have sex again so I never have to feel this scared again”. Fortunately it was a false-call and I quickly forgot the fear and blind panic.

But this month my girlfriend missed her period. And my reaction was not what I’d come to expect. First of all, I started joking about the whole thing. I’d send her text messages saying I was off to Mothercare to look at infant clothes. I ask her if any of her relatives had any prams / cots / sterilising equipment they didn’t need any more. Of course my dry wit soon made her a bit tense so she went off and bought a home pregnancy test. While she was away getting it I thought seriously for a moment about how I’d feel if she tested positive.

The Center Parcs pool

And you know what? I decided that I didn’t mind either way. We’ve spoken about having kids and how we’re knocking on a bit and if we’re going to start a family we want to be doing it soon. But we’d decided that - selfish as we still are - we’re just not ready to do it. And to be honest, we didn’t know when we ever would be. But we’d still love kids.

But it became clear to me while I was waiting that we aren’t going to be just wake up one morning and decide that we were ready. It would have to be forced on us and we’d have to deal with it and make the switch to putting ourselves second in our lives after our kids. And this could be it. This could be it being forced on us. And the scary part was that I wasn’t scared at all. I thought to myself “if she’s pregnant, then I’m going to be a father”. And I felt fine about that. I really did.

And as she took the test and came up negative, I swear to you I felt a pang of disappointment.

Maybe it’s because I’m rapidly approaching 30. Maybe it’s because I’ve been spending time with my girlfriend’s family including two nephews (even the Easter weekend). Or maybe I’m coming to realise that there has to be more to life than this. Still, the test kit claims only 99% accuracy. Which means 1 in 100 results are wrong…

I’d been doing so well. I’d bought a Smith machine (which is a piece of kit you’ll find down at your local gym that allows you to lift weights without the risk of dropping them and killing yourself) and had managed to stay injury free for quite some time. I was strong, fast, playing football pretty well and my running was coming along nicely too. Something had to give. And of all the things that could have caused it, walking to the train station must be about the most unlikely of all.

I woke up with a bit of stiffness at the back of my knee above my calf muscle. I just assumed it would pass and carried on. I played football one night and the knee hurt a bit more afterwards but as I had a game the next day I promised myself I’d give it a rest afterwards. Big mistake. I was having a good game and then I twisted as I was changing direction quickly and then felt some rather nasty cracking sensations in my knee and was hit by rather a lot of pain. I had been wearing a knee support and even with that on I couldn’t run any more (so I just played in goal and passed the ball around). I limped home and put some ice on it to try and stop any swelling and hoped it wasn’t too bad.

Luckily it only looks like my collateral ligaments so I’ll live to fight another day. In the meantime I’ve had to do something I find rather difficult - sitting around with my feet up doing nothing. It’s going to be a few weeks before I can start running / biking / footballing / walking without a limp again and a lot of that good work I’ve been doing lately will have to be done all over again. Still, on the bright side I probably need the rest, and I usually get an injury like this every 18-24 months so I know what to expect.

On the negative side, I’m supposed to be going to Center Parcs again with my girlfriend and her family over Easter weekend. Unfortunately the only mode of transport over there is on foot or by push-bike, neither of which are really options at the moment. And I’ll be damned if I’m getting a wheelchair! Anyway, I’ll just have to keep my fingers crossed that my legendary (or is that mythical?) powers of recovery do their usual magic. But I am getting older so I’m not going to be able to rely on them forever!

Oh, the job’s going really well so far, and the iPod’s fantastic (with so much music to choose from it’s often tough just deciding what to listen to while I’m going to work).  I’d definitely recommend that anybody out of work gets a job, it’s well worth it.  I’d definitely recommend that anybody thinking of getting an iPod goes out and gets it - they won’t regret it!

Must go, I’ve got some ibuprofen cream to apply to my knee. Lovely…