For the past few years I’ve been secretly conducting a subtle but daring psychological experiment. I’ve not told anybody about this so you’re the first to hear it right now. At first glance - just as soon as I explain to you what this experiment is - you’re going to think that it’s a bit pointless and inane, but the more you think about it the more questions you’re going to be asking yourself. Hell, you might even try to reproduce my test (under laboratory conditions of course). So here goes.

Let me set the scene. When I go to a supermarket and I’ve finished shopping I go to the checkout. Nothing new there. But once I’ve packed all the shopping into bags (unless I’m at Sainsbury’s where they do it for me, those nice people) it comes time to pay the cashier. So I get out my card and hand it over. Once they’ve printed the receipt and I’ve signed it, the script goes that they get the final receipt printed out, take it from the till and pass it to me along with my card. I take it and I leave the store to carry on with my mundane life.

But let’s rewind a little bit, just to the scene where the cashier is about to hand over the receipt and my card. Hit pause. Now my experiment begins. I’m going to thank the cashier (because I’m a polite young man) and they’re going to say something in response. Unless of course they thank me first and then I respond with thanks of my own (because I’m a polite young man). Moments before this little verbal exchange I have a decision to make. I cycle through all the possible things I could say (see below) and then decide on one, keeping that phrase in my mind. The trick is this, if I they thank me first, will they use the phrase that I’ve already chosen in my head and if I thank them first will they respond by repeating what I just said? In the first case they can clearly read my mind. In the second remember that in most instances they will reply an instant before I’ve finished thanking them and so have probably already made their minds up what they’re going to say. If they match what I’ve said then again they could have read my mind, but it’s less likely.

To properly document my findings, here are the complete set of phrases that I randomly select one from each time I encounter this situation:

• Thanks.
• Thank you.
• Cheers.
• Ta.
• Respectful nod. (i.e. no words at all, just a nod)
• Are you doing anything tonight? (To female cashiers only)

Okay, I made that last one up, but the first five are true. Anyway, if they get in before me once, you might think it was just chance - after all there are only five choices on my list. And if they respond with the same line I’ve just used, it’s probably because they are just mimicking me as it’s easier for them. Which is why I’ve been doing this for what seem like years, I want to eliminate the element of chance.

The results? Staggeringly, I’m starting to believe that mind reading could actually be possible. In perhaps 90% of cases when they thank me before I thank them, they will use the exact phrase I have stored in my head. The figure goes up to around 98% when I thank them before they can thank me - and in perhaps 60% of those occasions they have begun to reply to me before I’ve finished thanking them. It really has been a revelation.

But my results are not yet conclusive - I need to widen the research group beyond me. So the next time you’re at the checkout ready to get your receipt handed to you, please apply the scientific procedures I’ve highlighted above and carefully document the results. When you think you have any conclusions then feel free to send them to me or put them in the bin - either way you’ll be contributing in a very important way to my long-term study. Thank you for your attention.

Hard at work in the office.

As Andy has pointed out, bad things are afoot (follow the link to see a rare photo of me). After spending the last four and a half years on and off working for a great company with top class people in a beautiful area, it’s all coming to an end. We just found out that our American parent company has decided to close us down. I’ve managed to avoid the sword of Damocles before but not this time - we’re all in for the chop.

On a positive note I’ve had the pleasure of growing up as a professional software engineer with a team of superstars. We all had different skills and personalities and we got to the stage where we automatically worked together fluidly with all of us pulling in the same direction. I moved down to Yorkshire wet behind the ears and here I am now capable of taking on any software project knowing that I’ll succeed because of what I’ve learned and experienced here.

The sad thing is that we’ll all be going our separate ways. These people are my friends, almost like a family. We’ve been through as many ups and downs as any family unit, we’ve made mistakes together and learned together. We’ve taken the good and the bad and laughed in the face of adversity. Now we’ll probably never work with each other again. I guess that’s the worst thing about closing down an office - the end.

We’ve not found out what the redundancy deals are yet and how long they might offer as a period of “transition” but in the meantime I have to start job hunting. I love where I live (did I mention that I’d just bought a house?) so I’m going to stay put but I’ll be happy to work in places as far-flung as Leeds, Harrogate, Blackburn, Manchester and anywhere in between.

I’ve been in this game for over 6 years and most of my development experience is on the Microsoft platform using Visual C++, of which I like to say I have near mastery. I’ve got a lot of experience using the flashy new .NET framework and I’ve picked up so many other bits and pieces of skills over the years that I could easily write a thousand words on them alone! Nevertheless, I’m always happy to roll my sleeves up and work hard. And as you should have worked out by now from reading this site I’m an optimistic sort and tend to not get down and negative. If you know of any interesting work kicking around then don’t be shy, let me know. This is your once in a lifetime chance to hire me and see if I’m the same in person as I am through this website. Serious and semi-serious offers only please!

A long time coming, this is actually my new house.

When I moved down to Yorkshire over four years ago I managed to get everything I needed into the back of my car. My house was unfurnished so I went down to IKEA and bought everything from a sofa to table and chairs to wardrobe, drawers and cutlery. Cut to now and here I am almost finished moving all my acquired goods into the new house and to say that my worldly possession count has increased would be a major understatement.

I’m moving from a one bedroom house to a four bedroom one with my girlfriend. So like Noah’s Ark we’ve got two of everything. Two irons, ironing boards, sets of cutlery, dining table and chairs, microwave ovens and so on. What we don’t have enough of is wardrobe space. Her house had fitted wardrobes so we’re off to buy some more at the weekend and until then everything’s laid out all over the place. So we’re (or more accurately since she’s away in London this week I’m) unpacking stuff that stays at the same time as boxing up (to be given to my brother when he gets a flat) or throwing out all the stuff that we no longer need. It’s a slow process.

In the meantime I can hardly turn around without falling over a box or bag, the garage is full of stuff for sorting rather than the Spartan gym I want it to be and every night that I come home it’s almost exactly like the night before despite the hours of unpacking I’ve been doing. I’m sure I’ll get there eventually but I don’t plan on moving any time in the next ten years - I’ll need time to recover.

Hang on, I’ve just re-read what I’ve written and it sounds like I’m pissed off and having a miserable time. Nothing could be further from the truth. I’m loving it. After all these years I finally own a house of my own! (Strictly speaking it’s my girlfriend’s and mine but you get what I mean). It’s huge compared to what I’m used to, it’s only two years old and it’s fantastic. It’s in a quiet neighbourhood and all the people I’ve met in the area so far seem really nice. So a little bit of pain throwing stuff out and organising where everything that remains goes is a small price to pay for living a much better life. But I’m still not moving for at least ten years!

Well, it’s taken six months and it all falling apart a couple of times for good measure, but we’ve finally done it. We’ve got a house! You may remember in March I mentioned that my girlfriend and I decided to buy a house together. It seemed to be going okay, but it eventually fell through (the seller pulled out of the sale).

So we were house hunting again. Then we remembered that a guy directly opposite the house we were going to buy was selling his (my girlfriend had gone for a look previously to see what it was like). He was selling direct and so was not using an estate agent. We went to see a couple of other houses that we didn’t like and then gave him a call to see if it was still for sale. It was and we agreed to just pop round (it’s the same village in which we live).

I’m glad we did because we loved it even more than the previous house, made him an offer there and then, he accepted it and we shook hands. By this stage we were veterans and didnt believe anything until it’s legally binding (which it’s not at a handshake). So we changed the mortgage details and did the searches and kept out fingers crossed. We tried not to think about it and agreed that if it fell through we wouldn’t buy until the new year. My girlfriend had already sold her house by now and was living with me - all her stuff in storage - but we were managing.

But now that contracts have been exchanged we know for sure that we’ve got the house and we move in on Friday. So just to summarise - and get it in perspective - we didn’t need to sell so we weren’t in a chain and were therefore perfect buyers, with a mortgage already agreed and deposit in place. You’d think we’d have little or no trouble getting a house but instead it’s taken six months, loads of legal fees, a hell of a lot of stress and I’ll tell you one thing, I won’t be buying another house again in any kind of a hurry! Anyway, as soon as we get in I’ll post up some pictures.

Now all we have to do is move all our stuff in, tell the electricity people, gas people, council, water, Sky TV… The list goes on…

Oh dear. There I was writing a clever template to act as a photo album for this site and my laptop stopped. Everything froze. I switched it off and tried to switch it on but it wouldn’t boot. I tried the Windows XP recovery CD and it couldn’t access my hard drive.

Long story short: my laptop’s hard drive is toast and the last time I backed my data up was around 4 weeks ago (I do it monthly and was just about due to do it again). So I’ve sent it off in the hope the data can be recovered at no small cost to myself!

If the data can be recovered then I’ll be up and running in a week or so. If not I’ll have to reverse-engineer all the stuff I did over the last month from my site back into my month-old CityDesk database and in a couple of weeks I’ll be able to post again. So either way I’ll be going quiet for a short while. I’m sure you’ll all manage to cope!

Let this be a lesson to you all. Backup all your data weekly, if not more frequently. Message ends.

I’ve just bought a new digital camera, a Canon Ixus 2, and as is traditional when you buy a new camera you firstly open the box. Then you put the battery and memory card into the camera, then you turn it on and before reading the instructions you wander around taking pictures of everything. As you would expect that’s exactly what I’ve done and the snaps below probably say more about my mind than I’d like to admit.

I needed a small digital camera because I sold my last one to a friend (I hope you’re making the most of it Stu!) and my other one is the size of an SLR and isn’t really the kind of thing I’d want to take biking given that I tend to fall off quite a lot and / or get wet. This one should allow me to take pictures of the same quality as my expensive one without my worrying about its welfare too much. I’ll get a waterproof pouch and it should be okay.

You know what this means though? It means I’ll actually take it biking with me and you’ll be able to see the beautiful Yorkshire scenery even more! I should have thought of that when it was still summer but better late than never.