It’s really obvious when it’s a bank holiday weekend as the news is filled with articles about how busy the motorways are, how many people were killed in a pile-up on the motorway, how the weather is going to be unusually hot, and how dangerous DIY can be (apparently a lot of people use the break to do some handyman stuff around the house). With that in mind I’m off up to Scotland to visit friends, family and hopefully get up the hills to get some nice photos.

I’ve discovered that I’m not the only person to keep a weblog and I’ve been having a read of some of the more interesting ones. One that has apparently been around for years is DaveNet and it’s been quite interesting to look back at what he’s written over the years. Clearly I’m going to have to write some more interesting / controversial articles if I want to compete (which I don’t really)…

Anyway, have a nice weekend!

I was flicking through some of the photos I’ve taken over the years and, apart from laughing at some of the hairstyles and colours I’ve had (not to mention how much older everyone looks now) and noticed a pattern. For every 24 or so photos there would be 1 or 2 semi-decent pictures. The sort I’d put on my wall. I bought a digital camera a year or so and loved the fact that I could immediately see the bad pictures and delete them there and then without the pain of waiting, developing prints and being disappointed.

I soon started to get more ambitious with my photographs and would see a shot, take it, and then realise that I was at the limits of what my camera could do and would never do the scene justice. As with all bits of shiny kit, there’s always a shinier bit that you’ll need to buy next. So I’ve splashed out on a Fujifilm 6900z, which is about as close to an SLR as you can get in the digital world (without paying silly money). While it can be set to full-automatic, it can also be set to varying degrees of manual control from choosing the shutter speed or white level, to complete control where you can set everything.

So it’s back to the books to figure out how to (a) compose good pictures and (b) choose the settings on the camera to take that perfect picture. And I’ll need to buy some filters and lenses no doubt too.

As a side note I’ve started scanning some of my better photos over the years and some will make an appearance on this site sooner or later…

I’ve been bowling on and off for a few years. Like most people I would go now and then with friends when somebody suggested it. I never really took it seriously and never paid much attention to technique. Any strikes I got were purely coincidental, and that was fine.

Preparation and concentration are mandatory.

Then one time I watched professional bowling on Eurosport, late at night (it doesn’t seem to warrant primetime showing yet). Not only did these guys get amazing scores, but it looked cool. Firing the ball out so that it looked on the verge of landing in the gutter, then spinning back in and getting strike after strike. I realised that it’s a skill game rather than a power game after all, which got me interested. I tried to put spin on the ball with varying degrees of success (mostly varying from none to almost none), and have never been particularly consistent (scoring the odd 150+ score).

So I’ve started playing regularly and, merely to impress my co-competitors, it’s about time I tried to get good at it. I already had a bowling ball, a very nice dark blue one that I got as a leaving present (and it will forever live in my heart). It’s a standard, no-spin one that theoretically would go straight and that’s that (I say theoretically because I can’t bowl straight to save myself).

I had a shot of a “proper” ball the other night, and after a bit of coaching on technique (cheers Nige), it all started to click into place. I suppose my natural movements are better suited to spinning the ball too (I can’t throw straight, which helps in this case). So I thought “what the hell”, which I do all to often these days, and splashed out on a pro-ball all of my own (got some decent bowling shoes too - which you’re supposed to get before you buy a ball)…

I’ll not say how much it cost, because 110 UK pounds is a lot of money, but I will say that it’ll be worth every penny. I can try and work on the technique and be more consistent, hopefully. If nothing else, I’ll be able to come last, but look like a pro having a very bad night, which is infinitely better than coming last after looking like I’ve got no talent at all (of course, league bowlers would know the difference anyway). What I’m betting will happen is gutter ball after gutter ball after gutter ball… We’ll see.

After an 8 month sabbatical, I’m back working in the delightful countryside of Yorkshire. When I worked here before I hadn’t had the experience of working in a large city before, so a stint in Leeds and London soon sorted that out. I’m quite happy to be back in the country again, but I do miss some of the perks of the city…

This is Broughton Hall, the offices are round the back.

I’m working on Broughton Hall Estate, which, according to the website, is:

“One of the most successful and prestigious business locations in the UK, Broughton Hall Business Park is set amidst 3000 acres of beautiful Yorkshire parkland and is within easy reach of Manchester, Leeds and Harrogate. The historic listed buildings have been carefully and aesthetically converted to high quality office accommodation with sophisticated communications, ample free parking, peace and security.”

Sounds nice, and it really is. The offices are surrounded by trees containing squirrels (not all of them), there’s a stream containing trout, stepping stones, some nice paths through the trees and plenty of open fields containing sheep. It’s a tranquil place to work, make no mistake. It also has the clear advantage of being a mere 10 minute drive from my house, as opposed to Leeds, which is a 40 minute train journey or 1 hour drive. The other big plus point is working with a real programming language (well, real hard), C++. Oh yeah, the final plus point is working with some good people, which is nice.

I’m already missing some of the nice things about working in a city though. Swanky sandwich shops, cafés, hustle and bustle, loads of nice looking women walking around all the time (ahem) and being able to put cheques into my bank (the Alliance and Leicester don’t have branches everywhere, unfortunately).

Still, working in the country isn’t bad, some people live in the country and work in the city. And as the quote above states, it’s not far from Harrogate or Leeds. Nice work if you can get it!

I’ve always wanted to make the most of my time on earth. From an early age I’ve dreamed of traveling the world, meeting all sorts of interesting people, trying all kinds of exciting sports and pass-times, and generally gaining great material for my memoirs. I’ve done pretty well so far…

I’ve spent a lot of time exploring the best parts of Scotland. I’ve hiked all over the country taking in some of the most beautiful scenery that it has to offer. I’ve watched sunrises from the top of mountains, watched herds of wild deer running into the distance, seen the Northern Lights, walked along the streets of Edinburgh on a beautiful sunny day and loads of other things too numerous to mention here (wait for my memoirs). I’ve even been to Plockton, where the quaint television series “Hamish Macbeth” was filmed (palm trees in Scotland, you have to see it to believe it).

I’ve tried my hand at quite a lot of sports from the dull (years of hardcore swimming - it always amazed me at University how many competitive swimmers were accountancy students), to the extreme (like snowboarding, mountain biking, triathlon and climbing). I’ve always had the attitude that I’ll try almost anything once, and I’ll tend to stick with the things I enjoy.

The Magpie: renowned for gathering shiny bits of kit and hoarding them in its nest.

The part of Scotland I’m from never had any Magpies (the black and white bird with the dark green tail, see left). Whenever I went somewhere else, I’d notice that they had Magpies, but on returning home, they’d just be a memory. I don’t know why, but their absence was always in the back of my mind. I dreamed of one day living in a place that had Magpies. And guess what? Yorkshire has a large population of Magpies. Mission accomplished. I will admit though that they’re not the most exciting creatures on earth.

I went through a stage of dyeing my hair blonde to see what it was like. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but looking back I can’t really see the point (although it was worth it to walk up to my friends, say hi, and them not even recognise me). I was going to put a picture on but I think my ISP would force me to remove it for being so uncool.

I always wanted a quick car. I bought a Mark 2 Golf Gti. It was red, fast, fun to drive, and was another dream come true. Sadly, however, it soon turned into a nightmare. The repair bill was ludicrous. It needed a complete engine rebuild, would overheat and burst water hoses if sat in a traffic jam for more than a few minutes and broke down on me so often that I very quickly lost count (in fact, I still to this day find myself saying  things like “I broke down in that village” or, “I remember being towed through there”). So quite quickly I dreamed of having a more modern, reliable car. With the purchase of my next car (only 2 years old at the time) I achieved that goal. I still look at the water temperature needle from time to time and have scary flashbacks.

Anyway, I’ve still got plenty of large things still to do, such as (in no particular order):

• Go sky diving
• Travel around the world
• Go scuba diving in the Maldives
• Score a perfect game in ten-pin bowling
• Traverse the entire Cuillin Ridge on the Isle of Skye

However, in all honesty, if I spend my life and don’t get all these things done, I’m not going to lose any sleep over it. I have enough fun and am doing enough interesting things in the meantime.

And onto the purpose of this article, to vent my spleen about my complete inability to get my hands on some pretty trivial, but specific items. I know that possessions are fleeting so I don’t get too worked up about them, but there are just a few things that I have been so unable to find that they’ve driven me to distraction (well almost). And I thought I might feel cleansed if I wrote them down and faced my demons. Here goes:

1. A t-shirt with the number ‘1′ on it.

Sounds simple enough. I’m not particularly bothered by my appearance as long as I look reasonably tidy and therefore don’t offend anybody. I noticed a lot of people had t-shirts with various things written on them and thought that it would be quite neat to have one with the number ‘1′ on it. Until I actually tried to buy one I wasn’t that interested really, but can I find one anywhere on earth? Can I hell. For the past couple of years, every place I go to, I try and find a shop that sells one, all with no success. I’ve found ones with ‘2′ or even ‘31′ on them, but it’s just not what I’m looking for. So that’s on my list.

2. “Maximum High” by Shed Seven on CD.

I got a copy of this album when it first came out on tape. It’s a class album and was, in my opinion, written when the band were at their peak. Not only that, but it reminds me of the fun things I was doing with my time when it came out… Aaah. Anyway, go to Amazon and try to find it and you’ll fail. Look in any record shop that I’ve been to in the UK (such as Virgin or HMV) and likewise you’ll fail. Well, I always do.

3. 120 minute audio tapes.

Most people copy CDs onto 60 or 90 minute tapes to listen to in the car (unless they’re clever and have a CD player in their car). In my experience, your average album is around 50 minutes long. This means recording it onto a 60 minute tape and juggling the order so that a song doesn’t slip between sides, or a 90 minute tape with part of another album (or a very long, quiet bit). You can get clever and record the longest side of the tape, cut the excess tape out, rejoin it to the spool, record the other side and minimise any blank spots. But I once got a couple of 120 minute tapes as part of a promotion and they solve all my problems. You can put that entire ‘average’ album onto one side, and another ‘average’ one on the other. Great. But you guessed it, I can’t find them for sale anywhere else. I ask a sales assistant and they’ll swear blind that 120 minute tapes don’t exist and they couldn’t as they wouldn’t fit in the cassette…

4. The ability to cut a sandwich into two equal halves without using a ruler.

Okay, this one is a bit strange. Whenever I’ve made a sandwich (something I do quite regularly), I then cut it in half with a knife. This makes it easier and less messy to eat. Most people do this. My problem is that while I’m cutting the sandwich in half, everything looks fine. But as soon as I’ve finished cutting I notice that actually it’s completely lop-sided and one half is about twice the size of the other. This happens every time! You might suggest I cut from corner to corner, but sandwiches just don’t taste as nice when cut that way (well mine don’t).

5. Mirinda orange drink and snapple in the UK.

After living for many years in the UK (my entire life to be precise) I’ve grown sick of the soft drinks here (except Irn-Bru of course). When I first went to America I happened to chance upon the afore-mentioned drinks and I rather liked them. Upon my return to the UK I quickly realised that mirinda is impossible to find, whereas I can only find one or two flavours of snapple (neither of which are particularly appealing). Maybe I should just move to the US instead…

6. Mr. Impossible.

The Mr. Men books are children’s books written by Roger Hargreaves. I remember reading them when I was a kid and they were fun and captured my imagination. The only one that sticks in my memory is the afore-mentioned “Mr. Impossible” which seemed so surreal that it appealed to my sense of humour even then. So when I saw a display with the books in a shop I thought I’d buy it for old time’s sake. And surprise, surprise, I couldn’t find it. Every time I see them on display I look but every one is there except the one I want.

7. Square glasses (tumblers).

The film Blade Runner was ahead of its time. There is a scene where the lead role is in his swanky flat drinking whisky (or something like that), and he drinks out of square tumblers. I thought they looked pretty cool and decided to buy a set. Need I even mention that they’re impossible to find?

Well, there you go. By no means a definitive list, but just a few things that spring to mind. If you have any sensible suggestions as to how I might make my life more complete and get any of the items above within my possession, then just drop me a line.

So I wrote about the first few weeks I spent in London. On the whole I was still not terribly impressed by London.

Now that I’ve finished my stint in the Big City, I’ve had the chance to put my rose-tinted spectacles on and reflect on my time there. I first thought about the following points that might sway my opinions in an overly positive way (to try and be more balanced):

1. I was staying in 4-star hotels with room service, breakfast in bed, Sky television, gym facilities and king-size beds.
2. I was living on expenses and I’m not exactly poor. This meant that I could eat in fancy restaurants every night, drink in fancy pubs, wine bars and cocktail bars and never think about the cost.
3. My cousin has lived in London for about 15 years. He knows where all the best places to eat are (see point 2), where all the most interesting things to do are, and how to show a northerner a good time.
4. Living up north, things like the tube aren’t a mode of transport. They’re an adventure!

Initially I thought about the pollution, the worker ants that walk at top pace around the street without looking where they’re going, the underlying tension that most people seem under and the distinct lack of hills and greenery. But as time went on I started to feel the pulse of the place, the purpose that people have, the character, the buzz. To cut a long story short, I got hooked on London.

So much so that while I still wouldn’t entertain living there (until I find myself in the Times rich list I don’t think I’ll be able to afford the kind of house I would like), I know I’ll work there again. It seems the sort of place that you can really enjoy if you can afford the lifestyle, which suits me just fine. I’ve known for some time that generalisations about southerners are unfounded, so I have no prejudices about the people there either.

Well, that’s it. Turns out I think London’s great and I’d go back in a heartbeat. Nobody is more surprised than I am.